Have you ever had one of those heartaches that just won’t seem to go away? That one circumstance that brings fresh tears with it every time it comes to your mind?
I’m in one of those places right now. My life is peachy but for one area. I love my husband, God is providing for all our needs, all my nearest and dearest are healthy and safe and everything is coming up roses. Save for one storm cloud.
I’m not going to get into specifics because they don’t matter. We all have our own storm clouds and no two are the same. They do have one thing in common though: God sees them all.
You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in Your bottle. You have recorded each one in Your book.
I’ve been trying to hide these tears. I try to keep them from slipping into my voice. I’ve been drawing deep breaths and blinking heavily. I’ve tried to shift my focus to other things and ignore the ache.
I’m ashamed of my tears and I don’t want them to hurt other people so I’m doing my best to pretend they aren’t there.
But God knows better. He sees each one. What’s more, He cares about each one. Enough to keep track of them. Enough to collect them in His bottle and record them in His book. That’s amazing to me. He sees each of them.
Furthermore, He knew they were going to fall while He was still knitting me together in my mother’s womb. He saw all the hurts I would feel through the years and rather than growing numb or desensitized to them, He chose to care about them and hurt with me.
What kind of love is that? Who am I that He is mindful of me at all? Yet He not only knows that I exist, He’s knows about each one of my tears. I can’t even remember all of my tears. But they are precious enough to Him that He keeps track of them. That’s how precious I am to God; He collects my tears.
That’s how precious you are to God.
He has searched you and He knows you. He knows when you sit and when you rise. He has preserved your thoughts from afar. He discerns your going out and your lying down. He is familiar with all your ways. Before the word was on your tongue, He knew it completely. He hems you in behind and before and lays His hand upon you.
God wants each of us to know that He knows and loves us intimately and personally. There is no ache to silly, or big, or small, or shameful, or anything that He does not keep track of it. He cares about every hurt, even the ones that seem insignificant. Even the ones that no one else cares about. We are that precious to Him and drying our tears is that important to Him.
There’s this one song that never fails to bring back to me the wonderfully secure feeling I get when meditating on God’s unfailing love for me. I’ve included a section of the lyrics below, just in case you have a storm cloud in your life too.
I hear You say,
“My love is over. It’s underneath.
It’s inside. It’s in between.
The times you doubt Me, when you can’t feel.
The times that you question, ‘Is this for real? ‘
The times you’re broken.
The times that you mend.
The times you hate Me, and the times that you bend.
Well, My love is over, it’s underneath.
It’s inside, it’s in between.
These times you’re healing, and when your heart breaks.
The times that you feel like you’re falling from grace.
The times you’re hurting.
The times that you heal.
The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.
In times of confusion, in chaos and pain.
I’m there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.
I’m there through your heartache.
I’m there in the storm.
My love I will keep you, by My power alone.
I don’t care where you fall, where you have been.
I’ll never forsake you, My love never ends.
It never ends.”
(Times by Tenth Avenue North)