Laughs for a Friday

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Congratulations everyone! It’s Friday! We’re nearly there! To commemorate this special occasion, I’ve decided to try my hand at a humorous post and share a few jokes with you:

A man dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates and says, ‘Here’s how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you’ve done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in.’
‘Okay,’ the man says, ‘I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart.’
‘That’s wonderful,’ says St. Peter, ‘that’s worth two points!’
‘Two points?!’ he says. ‘Well, I attended church all my life and supported its ministry with my tithe and service.’
‘Terrific!’ says St. Peter. ‘That’s certainly worth a point.’
‘One point!?!! I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans.’
‘Fantastic, that’s good for two more points,’ he says.
‘Two points!?!!’ Exasperated, the man cries. ‘At this rate the only way I’ll get into heaven is by the grace of God!’
‘Bingo! 100 points! Come on in!’

I thought that was great when I heard it because it is so true. So often we fall into the mindset that we have to earn our salvation when there is no way we possibly can. Only through God’s grace and Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross can we hope to enter into eternal life.

Here’s another one:

In the wake of a bad storm, a small town experiences major flooding and the townspeople are evacuated. One man, however, instead of leaving, climbs onto the roof of his house, sits down, and waits. After a few minutes, a neighbor comes by on his boat and urges the man to climb on and escape to safety.

“No thank you,” the man says. “God will save me.”

So the neighbor sails away. Time passes and the flood waters rise. A rescue boat soon notices the man on his roof and immediately speeds towards him. The rescue worker orders the man into the boat.

“No thank you,” the man says. “God will save me.”

After a few more efforts to convince the man to leave with him, the rescue worker leaves to search for other flood victims. More time passes and the water rises so high that the man is forced to stand up. Just then, a helicopter appears over head and a man with a megaphone informs the man on the roof that they are sending someone down on a rope to rescue him.

“No thank you,” the man shouts to the helicopter. “God will save me.”

Unable to persuade him to accept their help, the helicopter leaves. It takes only a few more minutes for the water to rise above the man’s head. He is soon swept away in the flood waters and drowns.

When he gets to heaven, he sees God and asks him, “What happened?! Why didn’t You save me?!”

The Lord replies, “What do you mean? I sent you two boats and a helicopter.”

Another truth. Sometimes we can get so set in our heads on the exact way we think God is going to act in our lives that we miss the work He is actually doing. I usually have a nice little plan in mind for how I want things to work and if things are not going according to plan, then I get confused and wonder where God is. I soon discover that He is right there, working in my life in ways I didn’t expect. I run the risk of missing His displays of power and love for me when I demand that He work only in the ways I think are best.

And here’s one more;

A little boy walked around the corner, tripped over a towel, and tumbled head over heels down the stairs. Thankfully, at just that moment, his father crossed in front of the bottom of the stairs and was able to catch his son. The boy was justifiably shaken, but suffered no real harm.

“Aren’t you glad God had me here to catch you?” his father asked him.

In tears, the boy replies, “Why didn’t He just move the towel?!”

That one is actually a quote from the son of my church’s music pastor. I love kids; they ask such thought provoking questions.

I hope one of those made you smile and I pray you have a blessed weekend!

What’s your favorite joke?

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About Leah Ness

I am a self-professed story addict. Ever since I was little, I've had an overactive imagination and a passion for a well-spun yarn. When I grew up, I was blessed with a passion for God as well. It was then that I noticed a relative shortage of unique Christian fiction, the kind that can both captivate you and glorify God. So, despite the hurdles of things like commas and homonyms, I am endeavoring to write some of my own. Check out my Books page for updates on current and future books. View all posts by Leah Ness

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