God Keeps Touching my Stuff

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My circumstances lately have been less than idea and I’ve been feeling rather like a yo-yo. Caught in one of those ‘when it rains it pours’ seasons in life, I’ve (regrettably) given over to a lot of complaining.

I thought life would be a little easier than this and I didn’t realize the wait would be so long. It feels like whenever I start to make headway, I get blindsided by some other calamity.

Sound familiar?

After facing a series of disappointments in one area of my life, I tried focusing on other areas and ran into a wall professionally. While I was struggling against that discouragement, Hubby and I got hit with major car repair bills, setting back our savings goals and plans.

So you see, left and right, I felt like our plans, goals, and dreams were under attack.

Confession time: I was getting angry with God.

I felt like He was against us and I couldn’t figure out why He wasn’t blessing anything we did. With the timing of certain things, I felt like God was purposely messing us up. Why would He do that?

I was feeling like I’d given up so much that there was supposed to be some sort of exchange, like if I trusted and obeyed Him, I could pick my prize of choice. You know, like that plastic toy you got when you behaved for the dentist as a kid?

I felt like God was letting me down. I felt cheated.

So I went on a prayer walk to have a good, long talk with God. I felt compelled to read through some old prayer journal entries and flipped to one that was three years old, to the month. And wouldn’t you know it, it was an entry in which I put in writing that I was giving my job and my car to God.

Well, oops. What can I say to that? “Well, God, I didn’t actually mean for You to touch my stuff”…?

And that’s when I realized that the Lord hasn’t messed with anything that I haven’t already given to Him. I realized that I had given Him my permission – even asked Him – to take my life and do with it as He chose.

So what was I getting upset about? Because God was doing exactly what I asked Him to do?

I surrender my idols to Him and then get angry when He takes me at my word.

I get frustrated when I ask for more of Him and He answers by making room in my heart by reorganizing my priorities.

But at the end of the day, once I’ve settled down and stopped throwing my fit, I realize that it hurts this much because He is after my heart. And when the sun burns up and the stars stop shining and the sky falls down, my idols and my earthly dreams will be shown for the empty, shallow things they are. Only God and His love will last. So He is what I need to cling to.

Besides, if I believe that God is a loving Father Who wants what’s best for me, can’t I trust Him with the precious things? Can’t I trust Him to do what’s best for me, to give me beauty for ashes?

And that’s why I’m changing the cry of my heart, why I’m aiming for a different Prize.

As much as it hurts, I’m asking God to give me the desires of His heart instead.

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About Leah Ness

I am a self-professed story addict. Ever since I was little, I've had an overactive imagination and a passion for a well-spun yarn. When I grew up, I was blessed with a passion for God as well. It was then that I noticed a relative shortage of unique Christian fiction, the kind that can both captivate you and glorify God. So, despite the hurdles of things like commas and homonyms, I am endeavoring to write some of my own. Check out my Books page for updates on current and future books. View all posts by Leah Ness

12 responses to “God Keeps Touching my Stuff

  • Sue C.

    Hi Leah: I had to smile as I read your article. It immediately brought to mind a time when I had a temper tantrum about what God was doing. In my frustration I screamed, “What do You want from me!?” His very gentle voice replied, “Your life!” I hope you know you aren’t alone in your struggles. Blessings to you.

    • Leah Ness

      Thank you for your sweet comment =) It’s encouraging to know I’m not the only one who still throws fits! Well, besides King David: ‘I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before You.’ Ps. 73:22… yeah, that about sums me up. Praise God for His grace! Thank you so much for reading!

  • Sheila Scorziello

    When it really comes right down to it, it’s always his stuff, isn’t it? At least if we’ve given it back to him! Thanks for the reminder!

    • Leah Ness

      Amen it is! It’s all His. That’s why it was huge for me to realize that He only messed with my life when I asked Him to. It’s almost like He’s letting me think these things are mine so that I can enjoy the privilege of laying them back down at His feet! Like the little girl who buys a Father’s day card for her daddy with his money. Thank you for your time and feedback =)

  • Cyndi Gates

    Your post was – as always – very touching, and thought provoking. However, this one went well beyond normal in reaching the depths of a heart struggling with a God Who is reaching for the secret places within. I could easily feel your struggle and relate to your pain. I am so sorry for every moment. I pray God will bless you both with finances to fix your car. Car repairs are nasty surprises. May God bless you and continue to help you find blessings in the hard places; and may He quickly heal the broken and torn pieces of your heart completely, filling them with His joy and peace, in Jesus’ name, amen.

    • Leah Ness

      I’m glad you enjoyed the post! Thank you so much for your sympathies =) But I can honestly say, in retrospect, that I’m grateful for every painful moment. On the other side of long struggles, I can see where He was growing my patience. When unexpected bills pop up, I know it’s because I asked Him for more faith. I can honestly say, with Paul, that I rejoice in my weaknesses. BUT, that’s only in retrospect… When I’m in the midst of the trials, I covet your prayers with all my greedy little heart! Thank you so, so much for them =)

  • writefury

    Great post! The title was awesome. And, of course, relatable. 🙂

  • jameslantern

    Such honesty Leah Ness even me sometimes I get to that season ,i was th ere recently (everything is common to man)my prayer I’s that you will not rest in your righteousness but the righteousness of Christ,and thus you will have nothing to present before God as a demand because of your r works,Paul calls them dead works ,works done in order to earn browny points with God 🙂

    • Leah Ness

      So very true! Alone I have nothing to bring. Even my very life is a gift from God. Christ’s righteousness in me is the only thing that I can fall back on. Thank you so much for reading and for sharing your insight!

  • lizstlouis

    Such a timely message for me and God made sure i was late to the party and only just saw it.Needed it today. Really giving up our claim to our “stuff” is the key. You made me laugh and you made me think. Thank you.

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