In Light of the King

I think King David is such a kooky character. By that I mean he’ll do something so admirable one minute, and something I totally disagree with the next. Case in point:

In 2 Sam.9 we read about how David takes Jonathan’s son, Mephibosheth, and basically adopts him. David gives him everything that belonged to Saul as well as a permanent spot at his dinner table along with his other sons.

Fast forward a few years and David is on the run from his son Absalom. While he’s leaving his kingdom, Mephibosheth’s servant, Ziba, tells David that Mephibosheth has joined Absalom. In light of this act of betrayal, David gives Ziba all of Mephibosheth’s possessions.

The Bible keeps us in suspense until Absalom and his army are defeated and David returns. He is met by Mephibosheth, who tells him that Ziba lied. In fact, Mephibosheth hasn’t shaved or washed since David left and is beyond overjoyed to have the king home again.

So here’s the kooky bit: David’s response to this news is to say, “You and Ziba divide the land.”

This would have flat out ticked me off. “Sorry, your Majesty, perhaps you didn’t understand me. Ziba betrayed me, lied about me, and stole all I own. I think what you meant to say was ‘To the dungeon with him!’ not ‘Reward his betrayal by giving him half your stuff.’ I mean, what’s up with that?!”

I don’t know why David did this. Some speculate that he was testing Mephibosheth’s heart. I’m sure he had his reasons. But what I really is love Mephibosheth’s response:

‘Then Mephibosheth said to the king, “Rather, let him take it all, inasmuch as my lord the king has come back in peace to his own house.”’

2 Sam.19:30

There are two things that hit me about this.

First, when someone wrongs us, our first inclination is typically to seek justice. Some of us have kept quarrels alive for years, trying to get a little of our own back. Right is right, we’ll say as we try to justify our actions and prove that we were wronged.

But that’s not what happens here. Here, the focus isn’t on settling the score, the focus is on the king. Rather than pursuing a quarrel, Mephibosheth readily forgives Ziba, testifying to the fact that the king’s return is the only thing that matters to him.

This one hits me right between the eyes. I’ve always had trouble letting go if grudges. I want my vindication and I want it right away. But how much does getting even really matter in the presence of the King?

Second, Mephibosheth also makes it abundantly clear that he is loyal to David because he loves him as his king and adopted father, not because David gave him Saul’s land. He loves the giver, not the gift.

I tend to turn my gifts into idols. In fact, there are some gifts God’s given me that, should He take them back, I would miss enough to be angry with Him. Actually, this happens to me all the time.

When things don’t go according to plan, or when unexpected expenses arise, basically, when my comfortable world is rocked at all, I grumble and complain. I’m more attached to my gifts than I am to the Giver. And I spend far too much of my free time trying to protect what I have or amass more.

I love what the name Mephibosheth means: ‘exterminator of idols.’ How appropriate. The man who gave him everything takes it away and his response is to love him even more. His heart wasn’t in the things of this world, it was in serving the king.

I want to surrender the idols in my life, and I want to give up on petty disputes that mean nothing when compared to all that God has forgiven me.

In light of the King, nothing else matters. It’s all about Him.

When I Think I Deserve Better

What was the most creative punishment you received as a child? I had a few, but the one that stands out the most to me is The List of Complaints.

When I was a kid, I got into the nasty habit of complaining. One day, my mom got fed up and told me to go write a list of all the things I complained about regularly (I don’t know what she was so upset about, I could only think of a few things to write down ;).

Then came the nasty bit: she made me wear the list around my neck. And she told me I couldn’t take it off, not even when we went to the grocery store! For a little girl whose aim in life was to be invisible, this was a truly mortifying thought.

Thankfully, my mother showed grace and relented, but even the thought of the punishment kept me from complaining. Well, almost.

We all complain from time to time, don’t we? How else are we to be honest when people ask how we’re doing? How else do we ask for prayer? Sometimes, we feel the need to be real with people and we don’t hold back.

And this is acceptable. Complaining is only addressed as an issue when we are told we complain ‘too much’ or ‘about everything.’ But I’m beginning to wonder how much is too much.

In Exodus, when the Israelites are complaining to Moses, he tells them something interesting;

“Your complaints are not against us but against the Lord.”

Exodus16:8b

When I read this the other day, it hit me right between the eyes. I’ve been a bit whiny lately because that job I’ve been begging God to provide my husband with is keeping him out of the house a lot. I won’t lie, there’s been a bit of grumbling going on in my heart.

But not a lot. And so long as I don’t complain ‘too much,’ I’m good, right?

I don’t think so. I think that any complaining against God is ‘too much.’

Basically, complaining is telling God that what He has given me is not good enough, and that I don’t think I can trust Him to give me anything better.

When I think of complaining that way, I honestly don’t know how I have the audacity to do it at all.

Do let me be clear on this; when I say complaining, I mean complaining, not crying out to God for help. Crying out as the Psalmist frequently does, comes from a place of humility and the Bible encourages us to beseech the Lord.

My complaints come from a place of entitlement and pride. They are me telling God I deserve better than what He’s giving me.

Complaining also poisons our mood and robs us of our peace and joy.

Obviously, it’s unhealthy to never open up to people and we all need prayer and help. So when does opening up turn into complaining? I’m betting we each know when we go from ‘prayer requests’ to ungrateful whining. I know I certainly do. There’s that soft whisper from the Holy Spirit asking me whether or not He’s enough.

I think when it comes to complaining, there is no sliding scale. It doesn’t matter how often we do it, it’s still wrong. So I’m resolving not to do it anymore, through the enabling of the Holy Spirit of course.

I’m resolving that God is enough for me. That what He gives me is for my good, and what He holds back is for my good. I’m accepting that He owes me nothing and that every breath is a merciful gift. And in the light of that gift, there is no room for complaints.

Who’s with me?

I Have a TARDIS in my Office

It’s true. As I’ve mentioned before, my amazing husband built me a life sized replica of the space/time machine from my favorite show and proposed to me in it.

Furthermore, he specifically designed it to come apart so that we could take it with us to our new home after we were married. So as I type this, I sit not three yards away from a huge, beautifully hand-made TARDIS.

I couldn’t believe it when I saw it for the first time. My husband placed it in the park where we’d had our first date and told me to meet him there. So I drove around the corner and actually had to do a double take. My husband (along with a friend – Thanks Dave!) spent three months working on it in secret, never revealing the true reason behind why he was so tired and sore at the end of the day.

Nobody has ever done anything that thoughtful for me before and it takes my breath away to think of it.

The trouble is, I’ve kind of stopped thinking about it. It’s been almost nine months since he gave it to me, and I’ve seen it almost every day since then. As shameful as it is to admit, I don’t really notice it anymore. I’ve gotten used to it.

I have to actually make myself stop and look at it and think about what went into creating it before I can actually start appreciating it again.

The sad thing is, it’s the same way with my relationship with God. The Almighty Creator of the Universe actually came to earth, in the form of a helpless baby so that He could die to save me. And I don’t notice anymore.

Have you ever held a baby while they were sick and they’re sobbing hysterically because they can’t tell you what’s wrong? What about when a toddler scraps his knee for the first time and they cry like they’ve been betrayed?

Just think about everyday life and how hard and frustrating it can get, and how hurtful it can be. Jesus signed up for all that.

Then He went through His entire ministry of service only to be rejected and betrayed by those He had sacrificed so much for. He was beaten, spat on, ridiculed, and nailed, nailed, to a cross. Not only an extremely painful execution, but a shameful one as well.

And more than any of that, He felt the weight of sin for the first time. Not His own sin, but ours.

You know that feeling of depression and guilt you experience when you know you are walking in sin instead of with God and you feel that separation from Him? Multiply that times every sin that anyone who has ever lived or ever will live has ever committed and you will catch barely a glimpse of what it was like on the cross.

Even if I were the only person to ever believe in Jesus, He still would have gone through that whole ordeal for me. That’s how much He loves me.

How is that not my first thought every morning when I wake up?

And that’s to say nothing about all the blessings and provisions He’s given me. All the lessons He’s lovingly taught me, all the times He’s given me a reason to laugh, to smile. All the amazing people He’s given me the opportunity to love. And I walk right by it; the amazing gift that is Christ in me, the hope of glory.

This world is so noisy. It can even drown out a TARDIS.

What are you taking for granted today?

Leaving Our Gift at the Altar

The other night, I had the privilege of participating in a small group discussion of Matthew 5 and I wanted to share a few things I learned.

The specific Scripture passage was Matt. 5:23-26. I’d like to break the passage in half and look at verses 23-25a today.

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court.”

At the beginning of the passage, we can see clearly that holding a grudge against our neighbor hinders our relationship with the Lord. We are told to not even present an offering before Him if we are in the midst of conflict with another person.

Whenever I am refusing to forgive someone, that is typically a sign of pride in my life. It’s evidence that I think I’m better than the other person. “How could they do that to me?” “I would never do anything like that.” And so on. It’s pretty hard to stay mad at someone after I’ve accepted that we’re all on an even playing field.

Pride and unforgiveness are sins, and sin separates me from God (Is. 59:2). Because God commands me to love and forgiveness, I have to willfully choose myself over God in order to hang on to my right to be angry and/or hurt.

When I do that, I’m not walking fully with the Lord. There is a rift in the relationship and it taints all the ‘offerings’ I want to present before the Lord.

This command can provide an ideal stall-tactic if I let it. The idea that I have to make things right with my brother/sister before offering gifts to God can easily be twisted into the idea that I have to calm down and come to grips with that person’s actions before moving on. And that can take a while.

But the very next verse warns us to ‘settle matters quickly.’ There’s a very specific time frame. I do not have permission to dawdle here; I am called to get a move on and speed towards reconciliation. I know that can be hard sometimes. After all, time is a great healer and it often behooves one to take a ‘time out’ and cool down.

I do not, however, have license to shelve the problem and worry about it ‘tomorrow.’ Eph. 4:26 warns me not to let the sun go down on my anger.

Besides, if that anger is keeping me out of the presence of the Lord, then I should want to get rid of it as soon as possible.

A final note on these verses: I think sometimes we can get too caught up with our gifts and forget what’s really important. I often stride proudly to the alter with my blog post, church attendance, Scripture memorization, tithe check, etc. But that’s not where God’s heart is.

He values the people. Loving others, as He loves me, that’s the real gift.

If I don’t have love, I am nothing. (1Cor.13:2)